a case for the cubs... by my new friend, tim...

Hey Laura,

Good meeting you at Anni’s on Friday. Hopefully our nutty little group of friends didn’t scare you off on day 3 in the Chi!As promised, some thoughts on why joining the Cubs nation is a much wiser choice than going to the dark..er..South side.

1) Location – I’m just going to get the obvious one out of the way first. Wrigley Field is simply in a more ideal location. While both Comiskey (sorry, despite what U.S. Cellular pays for naming rights to Sox park, its still Comiskey to me) and Wrigley are similarly easy to reach via public transportation, Wrigleyville has the clear advantage for pre and post game reveling. Young people in Chicago live on the North side. Wrigley is surrounded by bars and restaurants you want to hang out in before and after games. Your friends are hanging out here, even if they are Sox fans. Sox fans, even of the diehard variety, aren’t lingering around Comiskey after the game. They’re heading to Wrigleyville to have a drink, because that’s where they live. This is coming from someone who lives on the South side and who isn’t that big of a fan of Wrigleyville. I’d still much rather hang out around Wrigley than Comiskey. Case closed.

2) Wrigley Field – I’ll just continue the same line of thinking and briefly argue the Wrigley Field advantage. It’s a magnificent old ballpark with lots of great sightlines. You feel the history when you’re there. That said, it is not without its drawbacks - urinal troughs for dudes being chief among them. It certainly lacks the creature comforts of Comiskey, which can be enjoyable. Plus, you have to pay an outrageous premium to get even the crappiest seats at Wrigley (tickets sell out within the first couple days of going on sale). In contrast, a Sox fan friend couldn’t even give away his Sox-Yankees tickets last week. So, it’s much easier to get to a Sox game at a reasonable price, but do you really want to sit in a big, sterile, characterless ballpark for a game? Given your effusive talk about the throwback parks when we met, I highly doubt it.

3) Fans – Ok, so this is the point where the Sox fans say all Cubs fans are yuppie poseurs who just go to Wrigley to drink beer and check out hotties of both genders. They could care less about the outcome of the game and are more likely to think that Theriot is a Canadian microbrew than a Cubs SS. They’re right – there a plenty of “Cubs fans” who fit this description. Plenty of girls hit Wrigley done up like it’s “skanks get in free night” at Le Passage. I hate these girls…. Sorry, I digress. So, yes, I concede this point to Sox fans. But, there are many, many Cubs fans who come to Wrigley to keep score, analyze every at-bat and who agonize each time Pinella has to call for one of the many lame-duck arms in the bullpen. These are the type of fans you’d be going to games with and we could all band together and ridicule the yuppies. As for Sox fans, do you really want to attend games with this mullet-wearing, IROC-driving crowd? They fully embrace their redneck ways, with the team running a “Mullet Night” promotion this year. Honestly, I think that’s brilliant marketing but still an indication that the core of the Sox fan base is a pretty fringe set. There are a lot of “mainstream” post-WS championship Sox fans in the city these days. Lots of them are of the fair-weather variety. Don’t let them fool you into thinking Sox fans are warm and cuddly. I still wouldn’t want to meet the guy with the “F*** You” tattoo in a dark alley…

4) Team Performance – The Cubs suck. They really do. They suck in that heartbreaking way where they con you into thinking they won’t suck by making a big trade or signing several big name free agents or taking the first 2 games of the Crosstown blood feud. In the end, though, they find a way to blow it. Every time. They are decidedly not “lovable” in the way they lose. There are times I want to kidnap each one of the players and drop them off at the “F*** You” tattoo guy’s house for him to have his Pulp Fiction-themed way with them. This is the kind of unhealthy thinking their consistent losing provokes. You know what, though? Someday, they will win. The Red Sox ’04 victory has given us all hope that it can happen and when it does, it will be the greatest sports story of all time. Don’t you want to be a part of that? When the ChiSox won it, no one outside of Chicago cared a lick. If the Cubs win, it will be a national love-fest of epic proportions. Deep down, I feel the joy of that moment will outweigh all the heartbreak. Seemed to work for the Red Sox Nation. As for the current state of affairs, this Cub team is pretty likable. DLee is a bonafide superstar and class act. Theriot is one of those hustle players you Philly fans seem to love so much. The starting pitching may be the strongest in the league, though the bullpen is the worst. The Sox are hitting .220 as a team and have no truly likable players. Konerko is their god, but the guy has no personality and is currently hitting .180. Do you really want to root for these guys, even if they win 5-10 more games than the Cubs? I think not…

So, there you have it. I could write a lot more on this subject, but I don’t want to sound too crazy before you get to know me better and I have to get some actual work done this morning. I’m sure you’ve been to Wrigley before, but I’d be happy to take you to a game and further demonstrate the virtues of Cub-fandom. It’d be tragic to see you in the white and black ;)

Enjoy day 5 in our fair city,

Tim