ATTN Laura: Another note about picking up a new team...

I have already firmly established that the Cubs suck and that no one should root for them. My arguments had to be urgent because there was a potential new fan.

However, after thinking about it, it may be a moot argument anyway.

Why? Shunta might start rooting for a Chicago baseball team. But she is a Phillies fan.

I have discovered, that despite our best efforts, we are incapable of rooting for more than one team in a single sport.

Now, don't give me that NL/AL crap; it's not about the teams playing each other on a regular basis. You just can't, in your heart, like two MLB teams. Or NFL, or NCAA, or English League soccer teams for that matter.

I don't mean that it's morally wrong or something, I just mean that humans aren't capable of the act.

Sure, you can decide you're going to "root" for this team or that team, but in the end, we have just one love.

A few summers ago I was anticipating living in Chicago for 10 weeks, so I decided way before I went that I would be a Chicago White Sox fan (I would be living two blocks from the stadium). I thought I'd start tracking the players and look forward to the highlights and have opinions on what line up Ozzie should send out on whatever particular night. And, hey, they're in the opposite league as the Pirates, so there won't be a conflict of interest, right?

It worked for a little bit. When I arrived in Chicago, I was pretty pumped and therefore rooted hard for the Sox. (I was also encountering more Cubs fans than ever, so it was extra easy.)

But, by the time the World Series came around (this was 2005), I think I only watched a day and a half. A fellow fan called be at the end of game seven to celebrate and I wasn't even thinking about the game that day.

By the time I was back in Chicago the next summer, I knew that I didn't care the least bit about the Chicago White Sox, despite my best efforts.

Back in 2003, when the Steelers were having a down year, I tried to pick up the Seahawks as an NFC team to follow. But by the time the playoffs rolled around, I knew I didn't really care if the Seahawks went anywhere. The 'Hawks played the Packers in a wildcard game, and in overtime, Matt Hasselback won the toss and said, "We want the ball, and we're gonna score." At that point I knew that I would get 10x more enjoyment out of seeing the Seahawks lose than win, just because it would be funny. I knew then my heart could only be for Pittsburgh.

(Good thing, too, because the Seahawks, their coach, and their fans turned out to be a bunch of whining sore losers!)

Anyhow, my point is, Laura, if you decide to be a Cubs fan, I won't put up too much of a fight. Because by the end of the season, I know you won't actually care.